{"id":6605,"date":"2021-02-15T11:20:49","date_gmt":"2021-02-15T09:20:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mahila.lt.kirtiklis.serveriai.lt\/?p=6605"},"modified":"2021-02-15T13:47:54","modified_gmt":"2021-02-15T11:47:54","slug":"ziema-jau-bek-is-cia","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mahila.lt\/index.php\/2021\/02\/15\/ziema-jau-bek-is-cia\/","title":{"rendered":"\u017diema, jau b\u0117k i\u0161 \u010dia"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-6610\" src=\"http:\/\/mahila.lt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/featured.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"648\" height=\"399\" srcset=\"https:\/\/mahila.lt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/featured.png 1019w, https:\/\/mahila.lt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/featured-300x185.png 300w, https:\/\/mahila.lt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/featured-768x473.png 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 648px) 100vw, 648px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>B\u016bnu sau ir jau\u010diu, kaip prast\u0117ju. K\u016brybingumas dugne, motyvacijos ka\u017ekiek lyg ir yra, bet veda ji daugiausia link kasdieni\u0173 reikal\u0173 pribaigimo, ne toliau.<\/p>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n<p>Pirmi trys m\u0117nesiai, ypa\u010d prad\u017eia, labai neblogai \u0117jos. Net sportavau reguliariai bent dusyk per savait\u0119, neskaitant ilg\u0173, ilg\u0173 pasivaik\u0161\u010diojim\u0173 ka\u017ekur po Vilni\u0173.<\/p>\n<p>O tada prasid\u0117jo galvos skausmai.<\/p>\n<p>Pasportuoju \u2013 kit\u0105 dien\u0105 tokios pagirios, it b\u016b\u010diau vis\u0105 bar\u0105 i\u0161ragavusi. Nesportuoju \u2013 rauna stog\u0105 ir nes\u0105mon\u0117s \u012f galv\u0105 plaukia. Pager\u0117ja, patikiu, kad gal jau viskas bus gerai, galima jud\u0117t. Ir tada v\u0117l \u2013 su pagalve ant galvos ka\u017ekaip lengviau gyvenasi. Pana\u0161u, kad migrena. Trisde\u0161imt dvejus metus, pasirodo, gyvenau labai laiming\u0105 gyvenim\u0105 be jos, tik pati nesupratau, kaip pasisek\u0119 buvo d\u0117l to. O dabar, sveiki. Na tikiuosi, kad tai \u2013 tik migrena. Noriu sportuot, noriu eit, negaliu, nes vis pagirios ir baidaus \u0161viesos.<\/p>\n<p>\u0160iaip tai juk viskas man gerai. Priklausau tai laiming\u0173j\u0173 grupei, kuri\u0173 darbo aplinkybi\u0173 pandemija beveik visai nepakeit\u0117. Viskas sutvarkoma i\u0161 nam\u0173, gali visiems paskambint, apsitart, gyvai matytis neb\u016btina. Ir papildom\u0173 darb\u0173 randasi, prabla\u0161ko. Tik baisu persistengt, nes labai sunku suprast, kada jau per daug. Ir namai jauk\u016bs, gera \u010dia. Ir vieta gera \u2013 visas miestas \u012f visas \u0161alis pasiekiamas, net ma\u0161inos atsikast neb\u016btina, kojom galima. Ir kompanija namie \u2013 it kas b\u016bt\u0173 paspaud\u0119s sync mygtuk\u0105 ir atlik\u0119s nepriekai\u0161ting\u0105 ritmo ir nor\u0173 suderinim\u0105.<\/p>\n<p>Man viskas gerai, a\u0161 stipri, bet man dabar jau nebelabai negerai ir jau\u010diuosi prasta. B\u016bnu ir chujov\u0117ju.<\/p>\n<p>Tiek galimybi\u0173, tiek keli\u0173 \u2013 mokykis, skaityk, ra\u0161yk, pie\u0161k, kurk. Tolkienas savo fantazij\u0173 kra\u0161t\u0105 namie suk\u016br\u0117, pernelyg niekur nekeliaudamas. Gerai jam, a\u0161 nieko nesukuriu. Apsiriboju sausais fakt\u0173 apipavidalinimais, bet kurt nesukuriu. Buvau sugalvojus ger\u0173 dalyk\u0173 santrauk\u0105 padaryt, prad\u0117jau ra\u0161yt, nesurinkau tiesiog. Neradau u\u017etektinai.<\/p>\n<p>Ar pasteb\u0117jot, kaip bendrai smarkiai ma\u017eiau tekst\u0173 sraute? Kai kam vis dar pilas, o kiti pritil\u0119. Gal ir klystu, bet vis tiek sp\u0117ju, kad kaltas tas priges\u0119s k\u016brybi\u0161kumas.<\/p>\n<p>Prie lovos \u2013 penkios prad\u0117tos knygos. Galvoju, <em>k\u0105 \u010dia paskaityt<\/em>, nieks ne\u012ftraukia.<\/p>\n<p>\u017di\u016briu \u012f miestus kine ir sunku net patik\u0117t, kad pati kadais ten buvau. Net ir vaizdai u\u017e 1000 km ka\u017ekokie nereal\u016bs. S\u0117di \u012f l\u0117ktuv\u0105 ir skrendi. Be kauk\u0117s, be testo, tiesiog va taip. Kur nori. Turguj, prekybos centre, klube, poliklinikoj (!) \u2013 \u0161imtai \u017emoni\u0173 vienas \u0161alia kito ir nieko. Kosmosas.<\/p>\n<p>\u0160itiek laiko, \u0161itiek galimybi\u0173 dabar tame laike. O a\u0161 atsitrenkiu \u012f stikl\u0105 ir tiesiog b\u016bnu. Ir tas \u0161altis ar sniegas \u2013 ma\u017eiausia b\u0117da. Bent jau \u0161viesos netr\u016bksta, tik, kai skauda galv\u0105, baidaus.<\/p>\n<p>Kai \u0161itiek laiko, tai bent visi nam\u0173 kampai su\u017ei\u016br\u0117ti, \u0161var\u016bs ir blizga, ar ne? Hmm, nu kaip.<\/p>\n<p>Gamint irgi, atrodo, nebemoku.<\/p>\n<p>Ryte lyg ir viskas neblogai, o link vakaro visoki\u0173 min\u010di\u0173 pilnas galvos avilys prid\u016bzgia, prie\u0161 mieg\u0105 jau, regis, tuoj ir sprogs. Baisu, neramu, neai\u0161ku, i\u0161sigalvoji, prisigalvoji. O dar tie sapnai.<\/p>\n<p>Dar ir sugeb\u0117k man taip, \u0161itiek ma\u017eai veikdamas taip smarkiai pavargt.<\/p>\n<p>Socialiniai \u012fg\u016bd\u017eiai irgi dugne. Kalbi ir galvoji, ar tikrai turi k\u0105 pasakyt, gal geriau patyl\u0117t. Nepad\u0117jai smailo, nepad\u0117jo tau, o varge, ka\u017ekas negerai. Ar tik prisigalvoji? Labai daug laiko ir erdv\u0117s galvot. O kai tiek galvoji, vis tiek prisigalvoji.<\/p>\n<p>Sk\u0173stis irgi nedera, nes juk daug kam blogiau, kur kas blogiau. Bet, tai \u017einant, nei tau, nei jiems geriau nepasidaro. Ne var\u017eybos.<\/p>\n<p>Kartojuosi.<\/p>\n<p>Ir \u010dia n\u0117ra sprendimo, kaip visk\u0105 pagreitint. Tiesiog nepriekai\u0161tingai atlikt savo vaidmen\u012f, pasitik\u0117t kitais ir laukt, i\u0161b\u016bt.<\/p>\n<p>Man \u0161iaip viskas gerai, bet nelabai. Bijau pagalvoti, kaip tiems, kam tikrai negerai. Hang in there.<\/p>\n<p>\u017diema, jau b\u0117k i\u0161 \u010dia.<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-6615\" src=\"http:\/\/mahila.lt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/tumblr_03421b4ce4dc22c810933988c23cd536_491dd0ef_640.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"430\" height=\"515\" srcset=\"https:\/\/mahila.lt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/tumblr_03421b4ce4dc22c810933988c23cd536_491dd0ef_640.jpg 640w, https:\/\/mahila.lt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/tumblr_03421b4ce4dc22c810933988c23cd536_491dd0ef_640-250x300.jpg 250w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 430px) 100vw, 430px\" \/><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>B\u016bnu sau ir jau\u010diu, kaip prast\u0117ju. K\u016brybingumas dugne, motyvacijos ka\u017ekiek lyg ir yra, bet veda ji daugiausia link kasdieni\u0173 reikal\u0173 pribaigimo, ne toliau.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":6610,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1384],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6605","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-jausmai","entry"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>\u017diema, jau b\u0117k i\u0161 \u010dia - Mahila<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/mahila.lt\/index.php\/2021\/02\/15\/ziema-jau-bek-is-cia\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"lt_LT\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"\u017diema, jau b\u0117k i\u0161 \u010dia - 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