{"id":5831,"date":"2019-09-15T21:05:32","date_gmt":"2019-09-15T18:05:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mahila.lt.kirtiklis.serveriai.lt\/?p=5831"},"modified":"2024-10-01T14:04:23","modified_gmt":"2024-10-01T11:04:23","slug":"trisdesimtmecio-krize","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mahila.lt\/index.php\/2019\/09\/15\/trisdesimtmecio-krize\/","title":{"rendered":"Trisde\u0161imtme\u010dio kriz\u0117 dar ir kaip egzistuoja"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/p>\n

I\u0161kart persp\u0117ju, kad \u0161iame tekste aptarsiu ir \u012fvardinsiu problem\u0105, bet sprendim\u0173 nepasi\u016blysiu. Apgailestauju.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ka\u017ekaip \u010dia taip gavosi, kad pastaruoju metu \u017eiauriai daug \u0117jau out ir pabendravau su daug \u017emoni\u0173 – nauj\u0173 ir sen\u0173 pa\u017e\u012fstam\u0173, artim\u0173 draug\u0173 ir pakankamai tolim\u0173 bi\u010diuli\u0173. Kadangi pati esu gimusi 1988, taip jau i\u0161\u0117jo, kad did\u017eioji dalis t\u0173 \u017emoni\u0173 taip pat yra \u012f vien\u0105 ar \u012f kit\u0105 pus\u0119 apvalinant – trisde\u0161imtme\u010diai. Ir, galvodama apie visus tuos nutikusius pokalbius, leid\u017eiu sau daryti vien\u0105 toki\u0105 i\u0161vad\u0105 – trisde\u0161imtme\u010dio kriz\u0117 yra stiprus ir realus dalykas.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ir kuomet apie vidurio am\u017eiaus kriz\u0119 esam gird\u0117j\u0119 ne kart\u0105 – j\u0105 steb\u0117j\u0119 – taipogi, apie trisde\u0161imtme\u010dio kriz\u0119 niekas nepersp\u0117jo, tad ne vienam i\u0161 m\u016bs\u0173 ji smog\u0117 netik\u0117tai.<\/span><\/p>\n

Apsidairau ir matau, kaip \u017emon\u0117ms rauna stogus. Ilgai tiesiai einan\u010dios atrod\u017eiusios linijos krypsta \u012f keis\u010diausias puses. Vieni meta darbus ir keliauja \u012f u\u017esienius laim\u0117s ie\u0161kot, kiti meta valgyt ir geria kosmoso energij\u0105, b\u0117ga maratonus iki nukritimo, dar kiti savo siel\u0105 padeda ant lentyn\u0117l\u0117s klubo tualete, o kitos dienos vidurdien\u012f randa save sve\u010diuose, \u012f kuriuos eiti neplanavo. O sekmadien\u012f verkia kruvinom a\u0161arom, nes neman\u0117, kad b\u016bdami trisde\u0161imties vis dar bus tokie pasimet\u0119.<\/span><\/p>\n

Dar matau daug, kaip niekad daug, pabirusi\u0173 santyki\u0173, kuriuos prie\u0161 kelet\u0105 met\u0173 prad\u0117dami \u017emon\u0117s tik\u0117josi, kad tie santykiai ir bus TIE.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

O dabar vietoj vestuvi\u0173 ar bendr\u0173 nam\u0173 – subaladota d\u016b\u0161ia ir septintas alaus Islandijos kult\u016bros centre. Ir reguliar\u016bs vizitai pas psichoterapeut\u0105.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

J\u016bs ne\u012fsivaizduojat, kiek \u017emoni\u0173 vaik\u0161to pas psichoterapeutus, j\u016bs ne\u012fsivaizduojat.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMes visi pasimet\u0119. Mes visi iki vieno – pasimet\u0119.\u201d \u0160itie \u017eod\u017eiai nuskamba k\u016brinyje \u201cVaikinai i\u0161 padori\u0173 \u0161eim\u0173<\/a>\u201d, kuris \u0161iaip skamba ner\u016bpestingai, bet i\u0161 ties\u0173 apdainuoja m\u016bs\u0173 kart\u0105.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDabar esi susitikimas, \u012f kur\u012f v\u0117luoju.\u201d Prisimenu \u0161iuos \u017eod\u017eius, kai susiorganizuoju susitikim\u0105 su draugu tris savaites \u012f priek\u012f. Gravity savaitgalius leisdavusi karta u\u017eaugo ir dabar ne\u0161asi su savimi visas praeities istorijas kartu su tuo ne\u017einojimu, k\u0105 daryti su tuo gyvenimu.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Pati i\u0161gyvenau \u0161it\u0105 reikal\u0105 gana skaud\u017eiai – prie\u0161 gimtadien\u012f, kuris buvo gruod\u012f, nieko nesinor\u0117jo, puol\u0117 baisios mintys, nor\u0117jau ne \u0161v\u0119st, o verkt \u012f pagalv\u0119.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Kalbuosi su \u017emon\u0117mis ir gird\u017eiu juos jau\u010dian\u010dius tai, k\u0105 jau\u010diau ir pati, tik ne vienam kur kas sunkiau.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ka\u017ekada, i\u0161 jaunuoli\u0173 perspektyvos, mums tas trisde\u0161imt atrod\u0117 tokia branda, toks u\u017eaugimas – visk\u0105 tada jau \u017einosim ir visk\u0105 gal\u0117sim. Bet vat ta realyb\u0117 pasirod\u0117 esanti kiek kitokia.<\/span><\/p>\n

Manau, kad ir a\u0161, ir daugyb\u0117 kit\u0173 to trisde\u0161imtme\u010dio akivaizdoje supratom nema\u017eai dalyk\u0173 ir ne juokais i\u0161sigandom.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLaikas baigiasi.\u201d – sako ta pati mergina toje pa\u010dioje dainoje. Ir i\u0161ties.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Nes prab\u0117go, jei viskas klosis gerai, duok dieve, kad klot\u0173si, duok dieve,<\/span><\/p>\n

tre\u010ddalis gyvenimo\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

ir mes dar nieko ne\u017einom ir nesam tikri, ar, kiek ir k\u0105 galim.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Taip pat baisoka pasidaro suvokus, kad, b\u016bdami trisde\u0161imties, t\u0117vai tave jau paaugint\u0105 tur\u0117jo ir atrod\u0117, kad jie visk\u0105 \u017eino ir visk\u0105 gali. Turb\u016bt jiems taip neatrod\u0117, bet tu to ne\u017einojai.<\/span><\/p>\n

O mes \u0161tai bla\u0161kom\u0117s be vietos ir ne\u017einom, ar kada i\u0161dr\u012fsim atsistoti \u012f t\u0117v\u0173 rol\u0119, nes vis dar pernelyg baisu.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Dabar mes turim daug laisv\u0117s ir prakti\u0161kai neribotas galimybes, bet da\u017enai tiesiog nebe\u017einom, kaip jas panaudoti.<\/span><\/p>\n

Kai mes augom, nebuvo jausm\u0173. Apie juos nebuvo kalbama, apie juos tik paskaitydavom \u201cPanel\u0117s\u201d \u017eurnale ir \u017einojom apie teorin\u012f j\u0173 egizstavim\u0105, bet patys apie jausmus su niekuo nekalb\u0117davom. Kai kurie ir iki \u0161iol nekalbam.<\/span><\/p>\n

U\u017etat buvo skai\u010diai, rezultatai, ateities projekcijos, presti\u017eas. Rinkom\u0117s mokytis dalykus, kuri\u0173 nenor\u0117jom tam, kad b\u016btum\u0117m saug\u016bs, pild\u0117m ne savo, o t\u0117v\u0173 svajones. O sulauk\u0119 trisde\u0161imties, supratom, kokie esam d\u0117l to nelaimingi.<\/span><\/p>\n

Niekada anks\u010diau gyvenime nesu taip smarkiai supratusi savo laikinumo, kaip dabar. K\u016bnas ir jo reakcijos \u012f tai, k\u0105 su juo darau – k\u0105 valgau, k\u0105 geriu, kiek miegu, ilsiuosi, leid\u017eiu laiko gryname ore – primena, kad, visk\u0105 sud\u0117liojus tvarkingai, galima va\u017eiuoti be kli\u016b\u010di\u0173, o pridarius klaid\u0173 tame d\u0117liojime teks i\u0161gyventi sud\u0117tingus padarinius. Nes jau nebe a\u0161tuoniolika.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Mano galva pilna \u017eil\u0173 plauk\u0173 ir matau, kad greitai jokios sruogel\u0117s to nebepasl\u0117ps, da\u017eyk neda\u017e\u0119s. Esu trisde\u0161imtmet\u0117 su pilna galva \u017eil\u0173 plauk\u0173 ir jau kitaip nebebus.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Ta\u010diau greta vis\u0173 t\u0173 baisum\u0173 at\u0117jo ir kitoki\u0173 jausm\u0173.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ir toks paprastas suvokimas – visi mes turim \u0161ird\u012f, net ir tie, kurie atrodo \u0161alti ir kieti, gal kartais net buki, ir norim myl\u0117ti ir tos meil\u0117s sulaukt atgal.<\/span><\/p>\n

Dabar kaip niekad smarkiai vertinu tas draugystes, kurios ne\u0161asi su savim de\u0161imt\u012f ir daugiau met\u0173 patir\u010di\u0173 ir istorij\u0173. Kai b\u016bnu su tais senais draugais, kartais juos tiesiog apsikabinu ir b\u016bnu, ir galvoju apie tai, kaip branginu t\u0105 m\u016bs\u0173 ry\u0161\u012f. Labai, labai svarbu tur\u0117ti draug\u0173, su kuriais ne tik \u012f bar\u0105 gali nueiti.<\/span><\/p>\n

Nes joks darbas, jokie pinigai, pasisekimas, material\u016bs laim\u0117jimai neprilygs tam svarbiausiam dalykui – jausmui, kad r\u016bpi ir ka\u017ekam ne vis vien, kaip tau einasi.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Dabar kaip niekad da\u017enai galvoju apie mirt\u012f. Bandau tas mintis i\u0161naudoti kaip motyvacij\u0105 niekad nieko neatid\u0117lioti.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ne\u0161iojuosi savo galvoje ir \u0161irdyje visus savo mirusius draugus, kuri\u0173 beproti\u0161kai pasiilgau. Ir kas kart\u0105 kiekvien\u0105 prisiminusi jau\u010diu, kaip v\u0117l ir naujo d\u016b\u017eta \u0161irdis ir kiekvien\u0105 kart\u0105 juos v\u0117l i\u0161 naujo apraudu ir mintyse apkabinu tuos, kurie buvo ar\u010diausiai j\u0173 ir j\u0173 \u0161irdis aniems i\u0161\u0117jus taip pat sudu\u017eo.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ir dabar labai daug dalyk\u0173 pasidaro neg\u0117da, nes supranti, kokios menkos tos g\u0117dos visatos begalyb\u0117s mastu atrodo ir kaip niekam jos ner\u016bpi. I\u0161 tikro tai tik tau, nes vis tiek mes visi pirmiausia galvojam apie save.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ir gerai supranti, kaip svarbu myl\u0117ti,<\/span><\/p>\n

dalintis,<\/span><\/p>\n

kalb\u0117tis.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Kaip svarbu i\u0161laikyti pagarb\u0105 kitiems \u017emon\u0117ms ir nepamest vertybi\u0173.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Kaip svarbu rasti laiko pab\u016bti kartu.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Kaip svarbu tes\u0117ti duotus pa\u017eadus.<\/span><\/p>\n

Kaip svarbu prisiimti atsakomyb\u0119.<\/span><\/p>\n

Kaip svarbu nieko neatid\u0117lioti.<\/p>\n

***
\nJei patinka, kaip ra\u0161au,\u00a0 pad\u0117k\u0105 gali i\u0161reik\u0161ti tapdamas mano Patreon rem\u0117ju \u0161tai \u010dia<\/a>.
\n<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I\u0161kart persp\u0117ju, kad \u0161iame tekste aptarsiu ir \u012fvardinsiu problem\u0105, bet sprendim\u0173 nepasi\u016blysiu. Apgailestauju. Ka\u017ekaip \u010dia taip gavosi, kad pastaruoju metu \u017eiauriai daug \u0117jau out ir…<\/p>\n

Skaityti daugiauTrisde\u0161imtme\u010dio kriz\u0117 dar ir kaip egzistuoja<\/span><\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":5835,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[1705,1706,2498],"class_list":["post-5831","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-be-kategorijos","tag-trisdesimt","tag-trisdesimtmetis","tag-vaikinai-is-padoriu-seimu","entry"],"yoast_head":"\nTrisde\u0161imtme\u010dio kriz\u0117 dar ir kaip egzistuoja - Mahila<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/mahila.lt\/index.php\/2019\/09\/15\/trisdesimtmecio-krize\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"lt_LT\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Trisde\u0161imtme\u010dio kriz\u0117 dar ir kaip egzistuoja - Mahila\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I\u0161kart persp\u0117ju, kad \u0161iame tekste aptarsiu ir \u012fvardinsiu problem\u0105, bet sprendim\u0173 nepasi\u016blysiu. 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Apgailestauju. 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