{"id":2814,"date":"2015-12-14T22:19:05","date_gmt":"2015-12-14T20:19:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mahila.blogas.lt\/?p=2814"},"modified":"2019-02-02T19:35:55","modified_gmt":"2019-02-02T17:35:55","slug":"nerimai","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mahila.lt\/index.php\/2015\/12\/14\/nerimai\/","title":{"rendered":"Nerimai"},"content":{"rendered":"

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2015-ieji yra metai, kuomet, jei kas pirm\u0105j\u0105 met\u0173 dien\u0105 b\u016bt\u0173 man pasak\u0119s, kaip viskas atrodys \u0161iandien, patik\u0117jusi neb\u016b\u010diau. Tai metai, kuriais visas gyvenimas apsivert\u0117 auk\u0161tyn kojomis. 2015-aisiais sp\u0117jau pra\u017eilt, smarkiai kilti ir smarkiai kristi. \u0160iais metais mano \u0161irdis tiek kent\u0117jo ir buvo m\u0117toma, tal\u017eoma ir skaudinama, paglostoma ir v\u0117l nusvied\u017eiama toli, kad, \u0161i\u0105 akimirk\u0105, atrodo, nebeturiu j\u0117g\u0173 i\u0161 viso k\u0105 nors jausti, nes neb\u0117ra jau kuo ir neb\u0117ra prasm\u0117s. Nieko neb\u0117ra. Tu\u0161\u010dia viskas. <\/span><\/p>\n

Ir neai\u0161ku, kas tikra, kuo galima tik\u0117ti ir kuo pasitik\u0117ti. Visos situacijos, pokalbiai, tiesos man\u0119s nebe\u012ftikina, nes nebe\u017einau, kas yra tiesa. Sapnai mai\u0161osi su realybe, ne visada ai\u0161ku, kur ji. Ne\u017einia siaubingai gelia, nes ne\u017einai, su kuo kovoji ir ne\u017einai, ko bijoti. Bijoti ka\u017eko tikro, kaip ir sakei, visada kur kas geriau u\u017e ne\u017eini\u0105. <\/span><\/p>\n

Mano galva \u2013 d\u016bzgian\u010di\u0173 bi\u010di\u0173 avilys, viskas b\u0117ga, lekia, a\u0161 nesp\u0117ju. Tik noriu nuo visko atsitraukti ir nieko nebegalvoti, nieko nejausti. Rodos, jau neb\u0117ra vietos, kur neskaud\u0117t\u0173. Nes jau nieko nebenoriu ir nieko nereikia. Norisi u\u017esimerkti ir atsibusti ka\u017ekur ka\u017ekada, kai viskas bus geriau. <\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"\"\"<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

2015-ieji yra metai, kuomet, jei kas pirm\u0105j\u0105 met\u0173 dien\u0105 b\u016bt\u0173 man pasak\u0119s, kaip viskas atrodys \u0161iandien, patik\u0117jusi neb\u016b\u010diau. Tai metai, kuriais visas gyvenimas apsivert\u0117 auk\u0161tyn…<\/p>\n

Skaityti daugiauNerimai<\/span><\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":5008,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1,1384],"tags":[1638,615,1639,978,1056,1354],"class_list":["post-2814","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-be-kategorijos","category-jausmai","tag-laimes-nebuvimas","tag-liudesys","tag-nerimas","tag-salta","tag-skausmas","tag-ziema","entry"],"yoast_head":"\nNerimai - Mahila<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/mahila.lt\/index.php\/2015\/12\/14\/nerimai\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"lt_LT\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Nerimai - Mahila\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"2015-ieji yra metai, kuomet, jei kas pirm\u0105j\u0105 met\u0173 dien\u0105 b\u016bt\u0173 man pasak\u0119s, kaip viskas atrodys \u0161iandien, patik\u0117jusi neb\u016b\u010diau. 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Rodos, lyg ir viskas gerai, bet. Bet klykia draskos jausmai,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Be kategorijos"","block_context":{"text":"Be kategorijos","link":"https:\/\/mahila.lt\/index.php\/category\/be-kategorijos\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mahila.blogas.lt\/files\/2011\/01\/to-laive-on2-367x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":92,"url":"https:\/\/mahila.lt\/index.php\/2007\/12\/04\/ilgetis-ir-laukti\/","url_meta":{"origin":2814,"position":1},"title":"ilg\u0117tis ir laukti","author":"Mahila","date":"2007 4 gruod\u017eio","format":false,"excerpt":"Kai buvom septyniolikos, \u0161irdim pilnom svajoni\u0173... Po \u0161imts. Kaip velnioni\u0161kai greitai b\u0117ga laikas. O a\u0161 jau\u010diuos vis labiau i\u0161sibars\u010diusi ir bevert\u0117, \u017emogus, kuris nieko nemato ateityje ir turi bevilti\u0161kai daug ko ilg\u0117tis. I\u0161berti - paprasta, surinkti - sunku. O kai buvo 17, buvo kitaip. Ka\u017ekaip \u012fdomiau. Rod\u0117si, kad net \u012fmanomas\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Be kategorijos"","block_context":{"text":"Be kategorijos","link":"https:\/\/mahila.lt\/index.php\/category\/be-kategorijos\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.blogas.lt\/uploads\/m\/Mahila\/144984.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":2432,"url":"https:\/\/mahila.lt\/index.php\/2013\/03\/27\/pries-sugriztant-i-lietuva\/","url_meta":{"origin":2814,"position":2},"title":"Prie\u0161 sugr\u012f\u017etant \u012f Lietuv\u0105","author":"Mahila","date":"2013 27 kovo","format":false,"excerpt":"Jau po Vokietijos & Austrijos ekspyrienso Lietuv\u0105 gr\u012f\u017eusi ma\u010diau kitomis akimis. Nei geriau, nei blogiau \u2013 kitaip. Pavyzd\u017eiui kai vis\u0105 laik\u0105 gyveni apsuptas tam tikr\u0173 dalyk\u0173, nepastebi j\u0173. Petro ir Povilo ba\u017eny\u010di\u0105, tarkim, \u201epama\u010diau\u201c tik naujai sugr\u012f\u017eus \u012f Vilni\u0173. Ir ievos t\u0105 pavasar\u012f kv\u0117p\u0117jo stipriausiai gyvenime. 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Kai esi vienas toli toli nuo viso pasaulio, o aplink esan\u010di\u0173 pasaulio suvokimas skirias nuo tavojo daugybe aspekt\u0173, b\u016bna, pagauni save norint\u012f pasidalint tuo, k\u0105 m\u0105stai, bet\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Be kategorijos"","block_context":{"text":"Be kategorijos","link":"https:\/\/mahila.lt\/index.php\/category\/be-kategorijos\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"..\/files\/2011\/02\/thesilence-456x300.jpg","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1507,"url":"https:\/\/mahila.lt\/index.php\/2011\/04\/18\/raganaites-memuarai\/","url_meta":{"origin":2814,"position":4},"title":"Raganait\u0117s u\u017era\u0161ai","author":"Mahila","date":"2011 18 baland\u017eio","format":false,"excerpt":"Moralk\u0117s ka\u017ekokios, li\u016bdesys, ilgesys (nors net n\u0117ra, ko), irzulys ir baisus nerimas d\u0117l visko. Daugyb\u0117 s\u0105\u017ein\u0117s priekai\u0161t\u0173 u\u017e kvailum\u0105, naivum\u0105 ir blogas mintis. Nes tik geriems darbams Dievas padeda, o mano mintys visai nedoros. Tuo, kaip galvoju, prie\u0161tarauju savo \u012fsitikinimams ir sveiko proto riboms. I\u0161siderin\u0119s moralinis kompasas. Gyvenu savo iliuzij\u0173\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Kelion\u0117s"","block_context":{"text":"Kelion\u0117s","link":"https:\/\/mahila.lt\/index.php\/category\/keliones\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mahila.lt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/04\/tumblr_n9z5f9poOK1tgoqsso1_1280.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mahila.lt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/04\/tumblr_n9z5f9poOK1tgoqsso1_1280.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mahila.lt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/04\/tumblr_n9z5f9poOK1tgoqsso1_1280.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mahila.lt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/04\/tumblr_n9z5f9poOK1tgoqsso1_1280.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mahila.lt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/04\/tumblr_n9z5f9poOK1tgoqsso1_1280.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1436,"url":"https:\/\/mahila.lt\/index.php\/2011\/04\/01\/kate-ir-siaures-asigalis-vilniuj-apsy\/","url_meta":{"origin":2814,"position":5},"title":"Kat\u0117 ir \u0161iaur\u0117s a\u0161igalis Vilniuj, ap\u0161y","author":"Mahila","date":"2011 1 baland\u017eio","format":false,"excerpt":"\u010ciuju dar nepasakojau vieno \u012fdomesni\u0173, naujesni\u0173 dalyku mano gyvenime \u2013 su naujais namais gavau kat\u0119. Man atrodo, ne kart\u0105 esu min\u0117jusi, kad nem\u0117gstu vaik\u0173, ka\u010di\u0173, gyv\u016bn\u0173 ir pan. dalyk\u0173 per arti. Taigi, vyksta keistas virsmas \u2013 man atrodo, a\u0161 pamilau t\u0105 kat\u0119. Ne\u017einau, kod\u0117l, bet ji nuolat leid\u017eia laik\u0105 mano\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Be kategorijos"","block_context":{"text":"Be kategorijos","link":"https:\/\/mahila.lt\/index.php\/category\/be-kategorijos\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mahila.blogas.lt\/files\/2011\/04\/sta42280-471x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/sdhVvp-nerimai","amp_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/mahila.lt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/12\/tumblr_pm1wnbeM6I1vmogt3o1_640.jpg","post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mahila.lt\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2814","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mahila.lt\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mahila.lt\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mahila.lt\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mahila.lt\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2814"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/mahila.lt\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2814\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5010,"href":"https:\/\/mahila.lt\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2814\/revisions\/5010"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mahila.lt\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5008"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mahila.lt\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2814"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mahila.lt\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2814"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mahila.lt\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2814"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}