{"id":2163,"date":"2012-06-04T23:41:57","date_gmt":"2012-06-04T21:41:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mahila.blogas.lt\/?p=2163"},"modified":"2019-02-03T00:55:12","modified_gmt":"2019-02-02T22:55:12","slug":"apie-tai-ko-tu-dar-nezinai","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mahila.lt\/index.php\/2012\/06\/04\/apie-tai-ko-tu-dar-nezinai\/","title":{"rendered":"Apie tai, ko tu dar ne\u017einai"},"content":{"rendered":"

Esu tikra, kad ir taip pakankamai ai\u0161ku, kad nesu masin\u0117s produkcijos egzempliorius, bet kartais pamir\u0161tu. Kaip ten beb\u016bt\u0173, skatinama savo jokiais parametrais nei\u0161matuojamo ego, papasakosiu tai, ko dar ne\u017einai. Kaip kokiam \u017eurnale, paskutiniame puslapyje, kur \u012fsitaiso ner\u016bpestingi intervai.<\/span><\/p>\n

Mano \u016bgis \u2013 metras piam du ir taip<\/strong>, tu niekada nesi sutik\u0119s ma\u017eesn\u0117s mergait\u0117s.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u0160e\u0161erius metus dirbau vadove krik\u0161\u010dioni\u0161koje stovykloje. Puikiai i\u0161manau biblij\u0105. Kadaise net nor\u0117jau studijuoti teologij\u0105, bet buvo nuspr\u0119sta, kad neapsimoka. Mintinai moku gal \u0161imt\u0105 giesmi\u0173.<\/span><\/p>\n

Pirm\u0105 kart\u0105 normaliai paband\u017eiau r\u016bkyti b\u016bdama \u0161e\u0161iolikos. Taip patiko, kad t\u0105nakt sur\u016bkiau du pakelius. Ir nenumiriau.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Mano did\u017eiausia daikt\u0173 aistra \u2013 adidas \u0161mutk\u0117s. Vos pama\u010dius kok\u012f nauj\u0105 egzempliori\u0173, apsiseil\u0117ju kaip nenormali.<\/span><\/p>\n

Kai vartoju alkohol\u012f ir pradedu \u010diaud\u0117ti \u2013 \u017eenklas, kad man jau stadija<\/em>. <\/span><\/p>\n

Da\u017enai, ypa\u010d, jei i\u0161geriu, galiu b\u016bti labai emocionali ir rei\u0161kti jausmus de\u0161imt kart\u0173 stipriau, nei jie i\u0161ties yra manyje – \u012fsijungia re\u017eimas \u201eserialas\u201c, kuriame s\u0117kmingai vaidinu. Tada a\u0161 jau myliu ir \u017emones, ir saul\u0119, ir g\u0117les, ir med\u017eius \u2013 visus. Kaip Brid\u017eita D\u017eouns, kai ra\u0161\u0117 kal\u0117dinius lai\u0161kus.<\/span><\/p>\n

Esu antiek visi\u0161ka<\/em> pel\u0117da, kad nueiti pamiegoti \u201epiet\u0173\u201c vienuolikt\u0105 vakaro man yra normalu. Nueiti miegoti \u201eant rimt\u0173j\u0173\u201c \u0161e\u0161t\u0105 \u2013 irgi. <\/span><\/p>\n

Taip neken\u010diu kort\u0173 \u017eaidim\u0173, kad net nemoku lo\u0161ti \u201eDurniaus\u201c.<\/span><\/p>\n

Nepripa\u017e\u012fstu ir negaliu pak\u0119sti jokio sporto, i\u0161skyrus va\u017ein\u0117jim\u0105 rolikais.<\/span><\/p>\n

Neken\u010diu bendrauti telefonu, nem\u0117gstu ra\u0161yti \u017einu\u010di\u0173 ir \u0161iaip telefono, kaip prietaiso.<\/span><\/p>\n

Moku klasi\u0161kai parkuotis galu, man labai patinka vairuoti ir \u017einau, kur yra ir kaip atrodo generatoriaus dir\u017eelis.<\/span><\/p>\n

Klaikiai bijau kutenimo. Ne\u017emoni\u0161kai.<\/span><\/p>\n

M\u0117gstamiausias vis\u0173 laik\u0173 saldumynas \u2013 ledai. Galiu valgyt pusry\u010diams, pietums ir vakarienei. Dar \u2013 datul\u0117s.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u017diauriai pametin\u0117ju ir palikin\u0117ju visur daiktus, juos lau\u017eau, dau\u017eau, pl\u0117\u0161au, sugadinu ir nenusaugau. <\/span><\/p>\n

Vaikyst\u0117je \u0161uo yra man nukand\u0119s ausies galiuk\u0105, ko pasekoje esu unikalus egzempliorius.<\/span><\/p>\n

Tre\u010diam kurse sugalvojau, kad tikrai<\/strong> ne\u017eadu sieti savo ateities su angl\u0173 kalba, tad \u012fgijau dar vien\u0105 specialyb\u0119 \u2013 tapau kirp\u0117ja ir taip<\/strong>, moku de\u0161im\u010dia skirting\u0173 b\u016bd\u0173 susukti plaukus bigudukais.<\/span><\/p>\n

Dvyliktoj klas\u0117j pirmam semestre tur\u0117jau ~180 nepateisint\u0173 pamok\u0173.<\/span><\/p>\n

A\u0161 niekada nemeluoju.<\/span><\/p>\n

Jei ka\u017ekur einu, guliu, ar s\u0117d\u017eiu ne viena, privalau b\u016bti \u017emogui i\u0161 kair\u0117s. Kitaip \u2013 mirtis.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ant savo galvos nesu tur\u0117jusi tik \u017eali\u0173 plauk\u0173. Keturiolikos-penkiolikos buvau ry\u0161kiai ry\u0161kiai raudona. Jei a\u0161 tamsinu plaukus, rei\u0161kia, kad man moralk\u0117s ir a\u0161 slepiuosi.<\/span><\/p>\n

Svajoni\u0173 miestas, kuriame a\u0161 dar<\/strong> gyvensiu \u2013 Viena.<\/span><\/p>\n

Pus\u0119 met\u0173 dirbau kazino kasininke Karolini\u0161k\u0117se. Tada pagaliau ir i\u0161mokau rus\u0173 kalb\u0105.<\/span><\/p>\n

Pirm\u0105 kart\u0105 gyvenime prisig\u0117riau nuo tekilos, tad j\u0105 geriu nebent toje stadijoje, kurios jau nebeprisimenu.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ant savo k\u016bno turiu \u0161irdel\u0119, pasiskolint\u0105 i\u0161 Keith Haring paveikslo.<\/span><\/p>\n

To be continued.<\/span><\/p>\n

Labanakt, Lietuva.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"\"\"<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Esu tikra, kad ir taip pakankamai ai\u0161ku, kad nesu masin\u0117s produkcijos egzempliorius, bet kartais pamir\u0161tu. Kaip ten beb\u016bt\u0173, skatinama savo jokiais parametrais nei\u0161matuojamo ego, papasakosiu…<\/p>\n

Skaityti daugiauApie tai, ko tu dar ne\u017einai<\/span><\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":5237,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[68,250,252,519,738,1002,1165],"class_list":["post-2163","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-be-kategorijos","tag-as","tag-ego","tag-egoizmas","tag-keith-haring","tag-naujienos","tag-savybes","tag-tattoo","entry"],"yoast_head":"\nApie tai, ko tu dar ne\u017einai - Mahila<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/mahila.lt\/index.php\/2012\/06\/04\/apie-tai-ko-tu-dar-nezinai\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"lt_LT\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Apie tai, ko tu dar ne\u017einai - Mahila\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Esu tikra, kad ir taip pakankamai ai\u0161ku, kad nesu masin\u0117s produkcijos egzempliorius, bet kartais pamir\u0161tu. 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Ne i\u0161vaizda, ne klyksmais perd\u0117tai guvi\u0173 kompanij\u0173 apsupty, o tuo, kaip kartais bendrauju su \u017emon\u0117mis. I\u0161si\u0161okimu paprastai vadina mano tiems \u017emon\u0117ms u\u017eduodamus klausimus, i\u0161sakom\u0105 nuomon\u0119, tiesmuk\u0105 ir pernelyg neredaguot\u0105. Bet taip jau yra. 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