{"id":1350,"date":"2011-01-31T00:40:51","date_gmt":"2011-01-30T22:40:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mahila.blogas.lt\/?p=1350"},"modified":"2011-01-31T00:40:51","modified_gmt":"2011-01-30T22:40:51","slug":"sventadienio-mintys-arba-kaip-niekad-atvirai","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mahila.lt\/index.php\/2011\/01\/31\/sventadienio-mintys-arba-kaip-niekad-atvirai\/","title":{"rendered":"\u0160ventadienio mintys arba kaip niekad atvirai"},"content":{"rendered":"

T\u0119siant netik\u0117t\u0173 citat\u0173 cikl\u0105, v\u0117l dedu \u0161\u012f t\u0105. Ir v\u0117l sakau, jog nepatik\u0117tum (pati netikiu) i\u0161 kur ir kieno tie \u017eod\u017eiai. Laikui b\u0117gant paprast\u0117ju, ar kaip \u010dia?<\/span><\/p>\n

„Mes nebesugebame i\u0161laikyti pagarbos vieni kitiems. Visose srityse… Vien piktinam\u0117s, \u012f\u017eeidin\u0117jame, apkalbame. Juk niekada nesakome: oi, kokia gra\u017ei pora, jie gyvens ilgai ir laimingai. Kur tau!”<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

„Klaiku, kad vyrai nebenori prisiimti atsakomyb\u0117s. Pasikalbu su draug\u0117mis, jos sako: neduok Dieve, kad vyras kaip nors suprast\u0173, jog a\u0161 nor\u0117\u010diau ilgalaiki\u0173 santyki\u0173, nor\u0117\u010diau kurti \u0161eim\u0105, draugauti, kad b\u016btume atsakingi vienas u\u017e kit\u0105. Jis juk pab\u0117gs tai i\u0161gird\u0119s. Ir taip \u2013 diena dienon, niekada ne\u017einai, planuoti kartu Kal\u0117das ar ne? Moterys nebenori gimdyti vaik\u0173. O kod\u0117l jos turi nor\u0117ti? Juk ne\u017einia, ar vyras bus \u0161alia, kai gims vaikelis. Kai vyrai nustojo prisiimti atsakomyb\u0119, moterys tapo valdingos, nes joms reikia apsiginti, i\u0161gyventi. Vyrai visai ir nenori gr\u012f\u017eti pas tas valdingas moteris, nes jos yra <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span>u\u017eknisan\u010dios<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/em>.”<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Taigi, pati kaipsyk bandau mokytis nustoti spjaudytis \u017eaibais bevarydama<\/em> ant visko, kas mane supa, burnotis, keikti ir kritikuot visk\u0105. (O tu \u017einai, kokia baisiai talentinga \u0161itoj srity esu). Sekas gal ir ne visai gerai, bet jau\u010diu, kaip galvoje pradeda br\u0119sti tam tikras vidinis suvokimas, apie tai, koks svarbus solidarumas saviems, kaip svarbu puosel\u0117t, girti, skatinti ir vertinti \u017emones, ir, svarbiausia, mokytis tai daryti nuo\u0161ird\u017eiai, nes, kitu atveju, sumeluotas malonumas gali kaip tik b\u016bti \u017ealingas. Ir \u017einai, tas mokymasis oj<\/em> koks nelengvas procesas, tik vaisiai \u010dia itin gard\u016bs, tai \u012fkvepia. Nujau\u010diu, jog net ir mano draugai, pa\u017e\u012fstantys mane seniau, stebisi, jog tam tikrais aspektais virstu i ger\u0105j\u0105 pus\u0119. Did\u017eiausias pavojus – tai, jog gali perdegti, sulauk\u0119s pasiprie\u0161inimo, nesupratimo ir \u0161altumo (o taip tikrai nutinka), did\u017eiausia laim\u0117 – jog matai, kad mokais ne vien tu, nes ir kai kurie aplinkiniai auga ir br\u0119sta, mokos lavint savo pozityv\u0105 taip pat.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Antrieji \u017eod\u017eiai velniskai skaud\u017eiai taikliai drebia ties\u0105 \u012f veid\u0105. Ir ne tik vyrai, visi \u017emon\u0117s ne tik, kad nenori, bet jau ir nemoka prisiimti atsakomyb\u0117s u\u017e savo veiksmus. Ir \u0161ito mokaus labai per \u0161\u012f pusmet\u012f. Bandau gyventi taip, kad neb\u016bt\u0173 baisu atsakyti u\u017e i\u0161tartus \u017eod\u017eius, duotus pa\u017eadus, u\u017e savo \u017eingsnius. \u0160tai \u010dia tenka mokytis ir toliaregi\u0161kumo, nes, prie\u0161 atlikdamas veiksm\u0105, turi bent minimaliai numatyti ir atoveiksm\u012f. Laimei, jau kelissyk \u012fsitikinau, kad, kai priverti save eiti atvira d\u016b\u0161ia<\/em> ir, tarkim, pripa\u017einti savo klaid\u0105, ar pa\u017evelgti sunkumams tiesiai \u012f akis, paskui jauti stebinan\u010diai pakyl\u0117jant\u012f palengvejim\u0105. Kai suvoki, jog vis\u0105 gyvenim\u0105 nuo savo neteising\u0173 \u017eingsni\u0173 nesisl\u0117psi ir neb\u0117gsti, taip pat aplanko \u0161ioks toks atokv\u0117pis. Matai, \u0161imt\u0105 kart\u0173 tyliai u\u017eparin\u0119s<\/em> save del ka\u017ekokios klaidos, vis dar ne\u0161iesi daug purvo su savimi, o \u0161tai \u0117m\u0119sis veiksm\u0173 ar bent jau \u017eodini\u0173 \u0117jim\u0173, palengva skinsies keli\u0105 \u012f kalt\u0117s i\u0161pirkim\u0105, galiausiai atsikratydamas vis\u0173 s\u0105\u017ein\u0117s priekai\u0161t\u0173 ir tada jau gal net ir miegoti gal\u0117si ramiau.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Kartu su \u0161ios savyb\u0117s brandinimu bandau vyt ir baim\u0119 priimti save toki\u0105, kokia esu. Su visu kvailumu, trapumu, paronojom ir \u0161yzom<\/em>. Ir su tom pa\u010diom klaidom. Kuo \u010dia tinka pacituoti \u017eod\u017eiai? Supranti, kai nedr\u012fsti sav\u0119s m\u0117gti su visais minus\u0117liais, pradedi kurti save su kauke ir ta kauk\u0117 da\u017enai ir pasi\u017eymi ne pa\u010diom \u0161viesiausiom ar tyriausiom savyb\u0117m. Susisuki \u012f kiaut\u0105 ir bijais pasaulio, nes tau neramu, jog ka\u017ekas gali imti ir sugriauti visk\u0105, kuo tiki, tai, kas tau \u0161venta. Begyvenant tame kiaute ilgainiui ir i\u0161vystai t\u0105 gynybos mechanizm\u0105, kurio, kitomis aplinkyb\u0117mis, tau net neprireikt\u0173.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Vaje, kokia baisi b\u0117da tai, jog vis\u0105 gyvenim\u0105 buvome mokomi sl\u0117pti, kaip jau\u010diam\u0117s, mal\u0161inti emocijas, prisiimti kit\u0173 primestus jausmus. Patinka berniukas – s\u0117di ir tyli, gr\u012f\u017eti namo ir verki vakarais \u012f pagalv\u0119, nori didesnio gabalo torto, nesakai, nes juk nedr\u0105su<\/em>, negra\u017eu<\/em>, tai ir lieki alkana, ka\u017ekas pasako, kad vaje, kokia ma\u017ea esi<\/em>, pradedi pergyventi ir pergalvojin\u0117t, tai gal ir tiesa<\/em>, u\u017euot atkirtus, jog myli save su visom ekstraordinariom detal\u0117m ir pasiuntus visus po velni\u0173.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n


\nKa\u017ekam i\u0161rei\u0161k\u0119s simpatij\u0105 ne syk\u012f b\u016bni nesuprastas, tod\u0117l kitais kartais ver\u010diau patyli; pasak\u0119s savo nuomon\u0119 sulauki skaudaus atkir\u010dio, tod\u0117l v\u0117liau t\u0105 nuomon\u0119 ir pasilaikai sau ir taip pama\u017eu ki\u0161i save \u012f t\u0105 prakeikt\u0105 kiaut\u0105, kur, ties\u0105 pasakius, gali ir nuvyst su visam. Paskai\u010dius tai, k\u0105 ra\u0161au, gali susidaryt klaiding\u0105 nuomon\u0119, jog esu depresuotas ir kompleksuotas \u017emogus, bet, vaje, toli gra\u017eu. Tod\u0117l tai, jog randu tokius jausmus savo esyb\u0117s pakra\u0161\u010diuos, ver\u010dia tik sp\u0117lioti, kiek j\u0173 gali sl\u0117ptis pas silpnesnius.<\/span><\/span><\/span>\n<\/p>\n

Mokaus dar ir dar ir dar kart\u0105 nebekreipti d\u0117mesio i tai, k\u0105 galvoja kiti. Bet, na gi b\u016bkim s\u0105\u017einingi, jei tie kiti negalvot\u0173, daug visko nedarytum\u0117m i\u0161 viso – nei veidus kasryt tepliotum\u0117m\u0117s, nei feisbuke<\/em> statusus taip aktyviai updeitintumem\u0117s<\/em>, nei d\u017einsus lopytum\u0117m\u0117s.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Tad labai svarbu susirasti sau terp\u0119, sudaryt\u0105 i\u0161 toki\u0173 \u017emoni\u0173, kurie netrukdo, o kaip tik padeda br\u0119sti, augti ir vystytis. \u0160iek tiek gaila, bet gal ir \u012fdomu tai, jog dar daug dirbti teks su savimi, ugdant aptartas savybes, nes vis dar ne\u0161iojuos aps\u010diai negatyvo ir baim\u0117s.
\nPrad\u017eiai, vie\u0161as s\u0105\u017einingas prisipa\u017einimas – man r\u016bpi, k\u0105 galvoja kiti. Man svarbu, k\u0105 \u017emon\u0117s pasakys. A\u0161 negaliu gyventi be d\u0117mesio. d\u0117l to kartais ir alp\u0117ju kaip ta g\u0117lel\u0117 be vandens.<\/span><\/span><\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

T\u0119siant netik\u0117t\u0173 citat\u0173 cikl\u0105, v\u0117l dedu \u0161\u012f t\u0105. Ir v\u0117l sakau, jog nepatik\u0117tum (pati netikiu) i\u0161 kur ir kieno tie \u017eod\u017eiai. Laikui b\u0117gant paprast\u0117ju, ar…<\/p>\n

Skaityti daugiau\u0160ventadienio mintys arba kaip niekad atvirai<\/span><\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[82,153,185,261,425,426,448,708,1016,1070],"class_list":["post-1350","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-be-kategorijos","tag-augti","tag-bresti","tag-citatos","tag-emocijos","tag-ismintis","tag-ispazintis","tag-jausmai","tag-mokytis","tag-senses","tag-slepti","entry"],"yoast_head":"\n\u0160ventadienio mintys arba kaip niekad atvirai - Mahila<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/mahila.lt\/index.php\/2011\/01\/31\/sventadienio-mintys-arba-kaip-niekad-atvirai\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"lt_LT\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"\u0160ventadienio mintys arba kaip niekad atvirai - Mahila\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"T\u0119siant netik\u0117t\u0173 citat\u0173 cikl\u0105, v\u0117l dedu \u0161\u012f t\u0105. 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